November 18, 2010

Another Jack Post

So, I feel a little like it's been all about Jack, lately. In my defense, he's just at that age. He's just starting to do new things, figure out new interests. Poop in new places. And so my story begins.

This morning, Jack was wandering around the house in his cute Carter's footed PJs. They are dark green and brown with little paw-prints on them. They are adorable. In case you don't know Jack well, or haven't seen him in a while you should know that he is small. In fact at his 16-month check up the other day, his pediatrician let me know that Jack is not on the growth chart at all for his weight. And barely on the chart for his height (his head was in the 85th percentile, but his giant head has nothing to do with today's events). Jack's footed PJs are size 12 month. They are very big on him. Sometimes when he climbs and plays around in them, he gets both legs up in the body of the PJs and gets stuck trying to get his legs back in their appropriate compartments.

Gabby is The Nose of the family. She is the first to let anyone know if they have stinky breath or smelly armpits. This morning she informed me that Jack smelled and that he was probably poopy. I was doubtful of this since I had just changed his poopy diaper about an hour earlier. But I never doubt The Nose, so I took him in to be changed.

Upon unzipping his PJs, I made a strange discovery. No diaper. Commando. Like the Tom Petty song goes, he was "♫ Freeeee, free ballin’ ♫" I've been changing diapers for 5 years. With no break. Not even a little one. I have had at least one child in diapers for the last 5 years. Diapering is second nature. It's like breathing. But smellier. There is no way that I would remove a soiled diaper, wipe him clean and not put a new diaper back on. I may be scatter brained at times, but that is just not possible. As I tried to figure out what had happened, I removed one foot from the footed PJs and found the missing item. There was the diaper, around his foot. I'm not sure how. But there it was. I was relieved to find no poop. Clean hiney, clean diaper. Crisis averted. The Nose had been mistaken. In my attempt to reapply the diaper, I removed his second foot from the footed PJs. And regretted it. There it was. The poop The Nose had smelled. Somehow... somehow Jack had managed to move his diaper down one shaft of his footed PJs, and poop down the other. It was smushed between his toes. With lint mixed in for a great consistency. I peeked, scared, down the leg of the PJs and found a footie full of poo-poo.

After 5 years of diaper changes, I thought I had seen it all. Apparently I had not. Maybe now, I have. Although I kind of doubt it.

3 comments:

sue anne marsh said...

Hilarious!!Between the Nose and the commando pooper it doesn't get much funnier than that!!
Question:
Is free ballin' really a song? Who knew? Is Tom actually singing about his testicles?

Shaunna said...

Gabby, "The Nose" is cracking me up! hahahaha:) Addi is the exact same way...She always says, "Momma what it smell like?" when she smells a stink!

Anonymous said...

Leah~
Thank you for my reason to laugh today! However, I'm not sure if you know this or not I am recovering from food posioning and it hurts to laugh, cough or breathe..and I found myself at random times of the day thinking about your blog and laughing in agony :-) What sweet children and a beautiful mom who captures the very essence of everyday life and brings joy to so many other...I love you! Give the kids a hug and kiss from me :-) Aunt Sheila