Well, I have made it through Summer Deployment 2010, Day One. I may have shed more tears today than I have in the last year combined, and I may have realized at about 7pm that I had eaten exactly nothing all day, but I am alive, my kids are alive and I know that I will make it through this. Today was really hard. I shared a teary goodbye with the love of my life around 4am. I had been crying on and off all night as we spent our last hours together. Frankly, I'm amazed by the human body at this point - I could have filled a bucket with all the tears I shed. I should probably go drink some more water to rehydrate my eyes.
My favorite verses are my favorite verses because of days like this:
"...And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hears by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (NIV)
When the time finally comes that I get to see my husband again and feel him embrace, I will be a stronger, wiser, more patient, kinder, better person. God will use this time to mold me more and more into the woman, the mother, the wife He wants me to be. And I will let myself, broken, to be put back together by Him.
Tonight I can be thankful that I have my children, we have our health and every material desire. I have my husband, though not near me - he is safe and healthy and he loves me more than I deserve. I can be thankful that it's only 4 months, and not six or twelve or forever. I have much to be thankful for.
My next post will be more fun. I promise :)